How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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