belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
