Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
