I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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