so that wasnt chicken after all
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
