If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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