I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
