Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
