On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Of course I have a pirate flag
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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