Porn is love you can see.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
