I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
