Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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