if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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