wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize