Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Randomize
