I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
