Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
