Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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