I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
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I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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