What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
im holly from the hills drunk
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
