Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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