she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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