pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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