just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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