I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
