He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
