I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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