He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
