Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
