how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Randomize