I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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