I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
