yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
