He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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