I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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