I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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