I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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