butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
