im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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