I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
