i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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