Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
In America we eat man semen.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
