So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
