i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize