there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
