Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
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For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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