Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize