just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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