That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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