i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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