u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
