how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
