I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
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Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
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So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
third nipple confirmed
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize