I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
