I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
