Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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