So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
