I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
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we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
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because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We're too hungover to prance.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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