I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
