College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
whose parrot is this?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
