Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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