It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
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Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
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He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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