names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
