Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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