I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
