Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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