Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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