Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
