I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
the liver wants what the liver wants
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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