I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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